7 Quick Takes XIII

--- 1 ---

A pregnant lady at rest stays at rest and a pregnant lady in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced toddler.

--- 2 ---

Great Moments in Homeschooling . . . 

The husband to a boy on Betty and Bobby's soccer team:  You're homeschooled, right?  So are Betty and Bobby.
Boy: Oh, that makes sense.  I noticed they said "library" right.

--- 3 ---

While planning Jack's The Mysterious Benedict Society-themed birthday party, I ended up on this anagram-generator.  

It was there I discovered that "Clint Eastwood" is an anagram of "Old West Action."

mind = blown

So I wondered, are ALL anagrams so full of truth and wisdom?  You be the judge.

Catholic All Year = Chaotically Real
                    A Coach Literally
                    Archaic Alley Lot

Conversion Diary = A Corny Diversion
                   Scary Indoor Vein
                   Noisy Over Rancid

A Knotted Life = Deaf Tone Kilt
                 Faked Toe Lint
                 Kid Tale Often 

Mama Needs Coffee = Madame Fences Foe
                    Cafe Deafens Memo
                    Same Dame Offence

If you head over there with your own blog name, but sure to tell us what you find out your blog is actually about in the comments.

--- 4 ---

Dear California Government,

I don't think you understand what a REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY is. It's supposed to mean that we elect YOU to research and vote on things because the rest of us have other responsibilities and that's what we are paying you for.  But since you DON'T seem to get that, I got to spend MY free time researching the THREE DIFFERENT marijuana propositions that were on the ballot yesterday.  Plus, I get pestered by hippies outside Target who want me to sign their petitions (connecting the dots there).

Please stop wasting my time.

Sincerely,
Kendra

--- 5 ---

I wrote a post on why I teach my kids to make excuses for other people.  Megan Mella, in the comments of that post, directed my attention to the following totally awesome 2005 commencement speech by the late David Foster Wallace which pretty much says everything I said in my post, but much more poetically and with considerably more production value.  I considered just editing the post to be nothing but a link to his YouTube video, but then I thought, "That would be a LOT of holding down the backspace key."  So I'm just going to keep my post and put the YouTube video here.  It's less than 10 minutes long, and it really is great. 

if it doesn't show up above click here

or search YouTube for james112680

(searching for "This is Water" 

or "David Foster Wallace" won't work)

--- 6 ---

More from the comments . . . In last week's 7 Quick Takes, I recommended Looper despite it's bit of nudity, because I think it's a smart movie with a great message. I was challeged (quite pleasantly) in the comments to defend the morality of nudity ever being in movies.  (Side note, I didn't realize it at the time, but I know the commenter and her husband who makes totally awesome movies in real life, which was a great reminder to always be polite in the comments!)

Since perhaps you don't always check back to see if I've added any comments to my earlier posts, I thought I'd put it here too:

Okay, I've had a couple of days to think about it and look into it and I'm going to get to continue to disagree with you, but now at least I know why.

As Catholics, we need not immediately dismiss as immoral all works of art containing nudity. The great works of art in the Sistine Chapel (re-nuded at the request of Blessed Pope John Paul II) and St. Peter's itself attest to that.

Neither does it being in a film rather than a painting or statue make it necessarily immoral, since films included on the 1995 Vatican Film List include nudity in both sexual and non-sexual contexts.

Nor does the consideration of workers in the film industry make all nudity in film immoral since there are other professions, like doctor, which may include seeing nudity as part of the job.

It comes down to: is the nudity meant only to titillate or is it meaningful? Even if that meaning is to show how debased a character has become, which is how I believe it functions in Looper.

Stephen Greydanus has a great article at Decent Films (my personal favorite review site) on The Vatican Film List, which covers this and other related topics.

--- 7 ---

I took a week off from Doctor Who-related quick takes.  But I wouldn't want you to think I have abandoned the Doctor.  Far from it.  In fact, I finished Season 6, which is the most recent season available on Netflix, and since I don't have cable I'm faced with the proposition of not being able to watch Season 7 for who knows how long!  And I've become such a junkie that I've started watching the Classic Doctor Who episodes.

So far, the fact that I'm still watching is nothing but a testament to how much I want to hide in my room during naptime, because the classic episodes are NOT super-awesome.

I've watched the few episodes they have of the First and Second Doctors and have started in on the Third Doctor, who looks exactly like Dustin Hoffman dressed up as Austin Powers for Halloween.

And the young lady "companions" seem to be there only to wear ridiculous clothes, emit ear-drum-shattering screams at aliens, and tell the Doctor how brilliant he is.

I do want to keep watching, but only because it's cool to see the earlier incarnations of the villains and adventures that the newer Doctors have faced.  I like to "get" the shows I watch.  But can anyone tell me:  Is it worth the lameness?  Do the costumes and plots and acting abilities get any better?  Are Doctors Four through Eight an improvement?

I'm thinking about just moving on to Sherlock.  Since, pop-culture-wise, I mostly just do what Bonnie says.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Cryin' Babies Go to Bed

Hey guys, it's me Frankie.

this isn't me, but I like him

You may remember me from such posts as:

An Open Letter to the Church Lady Who Yelled at My Mom, and

What Cranky Frankie Taught Me About God (my Mom wrote that one, but it's about me!)

So when Adam from Equipping Catholic Families asked how our family deals with cranky kids . . . I knew he had come to the right place.  My family has a system for just about everything.  And our policy on crankiness is that it's not allowed.  It's not just crankiness, either -- in our family unhappiness is not tolerated. It's against the rules.

My folks agree with this quote by Abraham Lincoln (maybe):

"People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be."  

And since, in my mom's experience, she's always been able to convince her kids that being happy is a lot more fun than the alternative, it's always worked out great.  Of course, that was before she met me . . .  but more on that later.

The main parts of the policy, from what I can see are:

1. BE TOUGH

My parents do not want their kids to react to challenges, or difficulties, or unfairness, or even injury, like this:

Ever.  (Did they ALL get poked in the eye?)  For one, it's un-American.  For another, it's not necessary.  Yes, as a kid, my first reaction to challenges, or difficulties, or unfairness, or injury, is to f-l-i-p out.  And then to get increasingly louder and more upset and more flipped out.  And then, in the midst of all the flipping out, to notice something I'd rather be doing, stop flipping out, and go do it.

My mom noticed that.  So now it's not allowed.  Even if we get hurt.  If we do get hurt, we are supposed to make this face:

and say "ouch, ouch, ouch."  Then we are reminded that it is hurting less and less, and off we go.  (It works so well, that my dad even pointed out to my mom that while he was filling in admit forms, she was pacing the hallway of the hospital in labor saying "ouch, ouch, ouch.")

And now that they're used to doing it that way, my brothers and sisters mostly don't get upset at all by life's little challenges or difficulties or unfairnesses (well, maybe not, they still do have trouble with that one) or injuries.  They just grimace and get on with their lives.  Not me, I still mostly pitch a fit, but more on me later . . . 

2. BE GRATEFUL

For grownups and school-age kids especially, it's really hard to stay cranky when faced with the reality of how good you really have it.

My parents remind us all the time how blessed we are to have our family and our faith and our health and our home and our country and our things.  We have been lucky enough to travel to other countries and see how happily (or sometimes unhappily, but mostly happily) other children live with much, much less in the way of opportunity and material goods.  We really have no right to be unhappy.  Ever.  (We also read and listen to great old books about children living happily and making do under difficult circumstances, it helps put things in perspective.)

We are not allowed to complain about what we are given to eat.  We are not allowed to appear less than totally thrilled with a gift we are given.  My brothers and sisters are not allowed to grumble about helping a sibling.  We are not allowed to complain about being hungry or tired or cold or hot -- not because we never are those things, but because complaining about it never ever makes us feel better.

If we forget, my mom likes to ask us, "What does God do to complainers?"  And then we have to say, "He sends snakes to bite them."

because it's true

We are not allowed to complain or ever forget how blessed we are.  It's bound to make us generally happier.  Maybe it will even work on me, eventually.


3. DON'T BE PARTICULAR

This one comes more easily to some kids (and grownups) than to others.  And my mom will be the first to admit that she struggles with it herself.  But kids are a whole lot happier if they can learn to control their emotions.  It's not necessary that I behave as if the whole world has come to an end if I get the green one instead of the yellow one.  I can learn to just chill, and be happy I got anything at all.  

When my brother Jack was in preschool, his teacher used to say:

"You get what you get and you don't get upset."

It still works for us.  (My mom does allow pleasant, non-whiny, non-guilt-tripping offers to trade.)


4. LEARN THAT BEING UNHAPPY NEVER ACCOMPLISHES ANYTHING

The more I hear about my brother Jack as a toddler, the more I realize how much he messed it up for the rest of us.  Apparently, he was nearly as much of a challenge as I am.  My mom learned a lot from parenting him (and watching the other moms and dads around her), but she thinks probably the most important thing she learned is that being swayed by the unhappiness of children is NOT effective in the long OR short-term as a parenting technique.

If my mom says I can't have something, then I throw a fit, then she gives it to me, she's taught me the lesson that being unhappy is an effective way to get things I want.  Of course, grownups know that bursting into tears is rarely an effective way to accomplish something.  My parents want us to learn that lesson sooner rather than later.

5. CRYIN' BABIES GO TO BED

Sooooo . . . once my mom decided that she can't give me what I want when I'm throwing a fit, she had to figure out what to do with me instead.  Especially since sometimes it's just the late afternoon and I don't even know what I want, I just figure I'll hang on mom's leg and wail while she tries to cook dinner.  By her third baby mom realized that it wasn't doing anyone (the baby or the mom or the rest of the kids) any good to just let an unhappy-for-no-reason toddler make everyone crazy.

That's when she instituted "Cryin' Babies Go to Bed" (note: cryin' babies go to bed is NOT for babies, it's for toddlers).  

It's just what it sounds like.  If I'm wandering about the house shrieking and crying and hanging on mom, and my basic needs have been attended to but I am just being a pest . . . I get reminded that "Cryin' Babies Go to Bed."  Sometimes that's enough to settle me down.  It worked like a charm with my brothers and sisters.  As soon as my mom would walk away from my brother Bobby he would start calling down the hall after her, "Happy, Mama, happy!"  And he'd get to get out immediately.  But I'm pretty obstinate.  I like to make my parents suffer a bit before I finally come around on things.

My sister Anita sleep trained in one night.  It took me over two months.  Two very loud months.  I finally got the hang of it.  But I feel confident that I extracted my pound of flesh in exchange.

I am, so far, the unhappiest of my siblings.  But lucky for me, I have a mom who's even more obstinate than I am.  And she'll teach me to be tough and grateful and non-particular and understanding.  AND she'll get dinner made every night, even if I means I'm shouting all the worst stuff I can think of at her in baby jibberish from my crib.  None of these lessons has worked on me yet, but I'll learn.  And then I'll have that one more thing to be grateful about.

A Mysterious Birthday Party (and a book review of the rest of The Mysterious Benedict Society series)

If you remember my review here, you'll know that I really enjoyed The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart.  It's smart and exciting, the writing is clever, and the characters make the right choices when faced with moral dilemmas.  It even manages to avoid the standard kid-book and -movie kids-run-off-to-solve-problem-themselves-instead-of-asking-parents-or-police-for-help thing.

There are two more books in the series, plus a book of puzzles, and now a prequel (which I have yet to read).  I found book number two, The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey, to be the weakest of the three.  The author doesn't manage to tell his story without resorting to my above pet peeve.  The four children decide that it's up to them to save the day, so they run away from their parents and guardians to have their adventure.  Also, an authority figure that the children are told they can trust exhibits some weakness of character that I think could be confusing to kids.  (However he does save the day in a very self-sacrificing manner at the end of the book.)

Still, it's a charming adventure with plenty to keep you turning the pages.  Madge, Muchos Brazos, and Cannonball are excellent additions to the cast of characters.  Mr. Curtain and the Ten Men continue to be well-written, menacing, heartless villains.  Overall I was a bit disappointed in it in comparison with the first book, but I didn't find it problematic enough to keep my kids from reading it or to withhold my general recommendation.

Especially since it would be helpful to have read it before you read the third book, The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Prisoner's Dilemma, and that one you DON'T want to miss.  It's another fun and creative story with plenty of danger and puzzles to solve, but without all the running away and disobeying grown-ups (Oops, Jack just reminded me that there IS some disobeying and running away in this one too <sigh>).  But the focus of the plot is on the children learning that they must each use their own special gifts but work together to save each other and Mr. Benedict and Stonetown and the world from the evil Mr. Curtain.  And I actually teared up a bit at the beautiful act of Christian charity that ends the book.

There is a plot involving one of the children being able to use mental telepathy.  I did not find it problematic.  I just discussed with my son that there isn't currently evidence to support that telepathy is scientifically possible.  I suppose some parents might have a stronger reaction against that aspect, especially since these books are set in our world not in an alternate world of magic.  But it's presented as an unusual and special physical ability she posses, not as anything magical or occult.

When I consider the dubious (or flat out immoral) worldview espoused in popular kids' series like Percy Jackson, A Series of Unfortunate Events, or His Dark Materials, it makes me really grateful that a fun, modern, moral, but non-preachy series like The Mysterious Benedict Society exists for my kids to read and enjoy.

It's right up there on my shelf and in my heart with series like The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, Redwall, and Harry Potter.  

And my 10 year old son Jack enjoyed the books so much that he requested that his 11th birthday party be The Mysterious Benedict Society-themed.  I'm a big fan of homemade backyard birthday parties.  And it's especially great when it's Jack's birthday since he's old enough and tyrannical take-charge enough to plan and run the whole thing pretty much himself.  

I'm in charge of oversight, some of the decorations, the food, and the cake, Nana does the shopping for supplies, and Jack plans his games and keeps things running on the day of the party so the grownups can all just sit around and chat.

He even wrote his own riddle poem for his invitation!

There were games including a scavenger hunt, decoding a Morse Code message (that one ended in the discovery of a cache of water guns and silly string), an estimate the m&ms contest, a re-enactment of the prisoner's dilemma (for candy), and an anagram puzzle:

His birthday banner was a rebus:

The pinata was Mr. Curtain's Salamander:

And he specifically requested a cake that looked like the Whisperer.  His cake does look a lot like the Whisperer, but unfortunately that means it also looks quite a lot like I made my kid an electric chair birthday cake.  C'est la vie!

Jack's actual birthday isn't until late June, but we'll be out of town for the summer and he wanted to be able to celebrate with his friends here.  So, I'll wait until later to wish him a happy birthday.  But it was a lovely day and a great party.  

And I highly recommend The Mysterious Benedict Society series as fun summer reading for Moms and kids alike.

p.s. Frankie got a new letter from his penpal Adam over at Equipping Catholic Families.  He'll be answering the letter when and if he feels like it.  That's kind of how he rolls.

Pentecost is Bigger Than Christmas

Seriously.  And don't try to pretend like you already knew.  Unless, like me, you have kids who use the 1963 Saint Joseph First Communion Catechism for school.  In which case, like me, maybe you found out that Pentecost is bigger than Christmas in front of your first grader then had to play it cool, like you totally knew that Pentecost was a really big deal and that you had every intention of building a traditional Pentecost tower* and putting your milk pails out on Pentecost Eve so that the Pentecost Dove would leave treats for your good little children.

No?  Just me then?

I have to admit, I only just thought of the Pentecost Tower and the Dove stuff, maybe for next year . . . ?  But we DO celebrate Pentecost now, usually with a bonfire cookout either at the beach or in our backyard.  And s'mores.  And red dresses.  And we pray Come Holy Spirit and handle venomous snakes.  (One of those isn't true.)

That IS how I found out about Pentecost though.  I mean, I had heard of it and everything, but until I saw this page in Jack's catechism, I never really thought much of it.

And going by their order in the book (which is not by the calendar), Christmas is actually fourth or fifth in importance, also after the Immaculate Conception and maybe the Ascension (depending on if we're going left-right or up-down).

Thanks to Lindsay for pointing out that (duh) they are listed in order of the liturgical calendar.

Not that ranking feasts is in any way an important exercise, I just found it surprising, considering the amount of celebrating that goes on for the various feasts.  But WE celebrate all of them.  As we have expected more from ourselves and our children in the way of duty to God, we also try to equally focus on the ways that our faith rewards us with joy -- even in this life.  

I want my kids to remember Pentecost because it's the day that God as the Holy Spirit descended upon Mary and the Apostles, turning them (the apostles anyway) from bewildered men cowering in an upper room, into bold leaders and teachers and martyrs who spread the faith to the ends of the known world.

But I know they'll remember it if it's the day we always make a bonfire and roast marshmallows in our own backyard.  And the rest of it will be there in their consciousness too.

And since it's Sunday, thanks to the ladies at Fine Linen and Purple, you get to see What I Wore Sunday.  Which was . . .  my first maternity dress of this go 'round, picked up off the clearance rack at Target because I thought it looked a bit like tongues of fire.  Perfect for Pentecost!

Earrings: Anthropologie
(they should be doves, I know . . . )

Sweater: Anthropologie
Belt: Old Navy
Bump: 12 weeks

Shoes: Zappos

Happy Pentecost everyone, hope you enjoyed it!



* and since I was really curious about what a traditional Pentecost Tower might look like, and I figured you might be too, I created this high-quality prototype:

It's made of water, wind, fire, and a dove.  You really need to balance that middle part just right.