Thursday, June 13, 2013

A Commenter's Astute Medical Diagnosis: 7 Quick Takes XVI

--- 1 ---

Back in January, when I started this here blog, I hooked it up to Amazon Associates.  That means that when you click on a link from the blog that takes you to Amazon, then you buy something, I get a teeny, tiny percentage of what you spend.

Now, as someone who hasn't been in the workforce for almost exactly eleven years, I was a bit giddy about the idea of an income.

I decided I wanted to save up for something that we probably wouldn't normally splurge on, and that would be useful to my life as a mom AND as a blogger.

A new camera was the obvious choice.  One that would take good pictures for the blog of my children.  Buuuuuuut . . . I've never been super-good at waiting.  And my old camera was really not cutting it.  So the husband took pity on me and we bought a better camera before our Italy trip.

Which left me with literally DOZENS of dollars at Amazon burning a hole in my virtual pocket.  I did NOT want to spend it on school books.

So, let's review: 1. Already have new camera. 2. Don't want to buy school books.

The only possible answer is to buy . . . 


this giant octopus sticker for the kids' bathtub.  I'm so proud. Plus, look how cute it looks with the existing bathmat.


Winning.

The kids love it, and now it's one of my quick takes on the blog, so that's how I'm spinning my earlier requirements.

Want one of your own?  Go here.  Seriously, do it.  I will make like nine cents.



--- 2 ---

I finished all the "Classic" Doctor Who episodes on Netflix, and I have to say, I think they're playing it fast and loose with the word "classic" over there.

The Fourth Doctor was my favorite of the bunch and the kids did like his episodes.  I didn't mind the Fifth Doctor himself, but I found his companions pretty insufferable.


this photo does not even begin
to do justice to the size of that
lady's sleeve bubbles

There are a TON of episodes of this show, and Netflix's collection jumps around and skips a lot of them.  On the one hand, thank goodness, because I don't think I could've handled any more.  But on the other hand, the whole reason I was watching was to better understand the new Doctor Who episodes and the episodes they offered jumped around so much that I never knew who his companions were or where they came from or what their deals were or why he didn't just let those aliens eat them because golly were they ever annoying.

So if you like the Doctor Who reboot and really want to understand the backstory, may I suggest Wikipedia instead of Netflix?


--- 3 ---

So I am moving on from Doctor Who, until Season 7 makes it to streaming anyway.  But at least I'll have these super-awesome shoes to keep my spirits up until then:



How cute are they?  I got them from etsy.  People compliment me on them all the time, without even noticing that they are awesomely nerdy, since they also have a cool color-block eighties vibe to them.


--- 4 ---

So what to do now that I'm not watching Doctor Who?  Watch Sherlock of course.



I am a big fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories and I thought Season 1 (which is all I've finished so far) did a near-perfect job of presenting authentic versions of the characters transplanted into modern times.

What little I've seen of the older versions of Sherlock Holmes in film and TV always bugged me, because that staid, straight-laced guy just isn't representative of the character I read about in the books.



I was actually pretty pleased with the recent films, since Robert Downey Jr's version of the character is so much tougher than the tweedy guy.  And so much more faithful to the Sherlock Holmes of the books, who boxes and uses recreational drugs and exasperates Watson.




But still, he doesn't LOOK like Sherlock Holmes -- who is described as “rather over six feet” tall and “so excessively lean that he seemed to be considerably taller.” He's also meant to have a “cat-like love of personal cleanliness.”  None of this describes Robert Downey Jr.

It DOES describe Benedict Cumberbatch:





I think he's perfect in the role.  Perfect.  I also love the music and I think the opening credits are brilliant.  They make actual time-lapse shots of London look like a toy train set, which must be how it all looks to Sherlock Holmes everyday.


--- 5 ---

But it's not all bathroom redecorating and Netflix streaming around here.  No, sometimes people invite us over to their houses for adventures.  People who have blogs, and epic love stories, and keep bees.

Yes, our friends the Rhodes family invited us over for a honey harvest last weekend.  It was amazing.  The kids are still talking about it in honey-for-breakfast-fueled outbursts of excitement.

The bee hat was quite popular:





iPhone photos, blerg

Jack actually got to help Jacob with the harvest, while the rest of us stayed back a safe distance.  It was evening, though, and the bees didn't seem interested in us at all.



After they were done harvesting they brought all the honeycomb inside in a giant bucket and we all got to munch on some.  Delicious!




We took turns smashing up the wax to release the honey, then it got hung up to strain into a bowl through some cheesecloth.


And now those two jars of honey (plus one more) live at our house.  Thanks for the memories Rhodeses!  We'll miss you.  Our loss is Austin's gain.

--- 6 ---

I have wreaked my own tiny bit of havoc in my corner of the blogging world with my movie reviews of late.  I disagreed with Bonnie's take on Silver Linings Playbook, then Jessica thought my  review of Skyfall was way off.

I find it very interesting that people with (I'll go out on a limb here and say) identical values can come to such different conclusions about the same films.

But throughout, I also found it noteworthy how diplomatic the commenters tended to be.  Bonnie and I had very different takes on the same film.  We must have a very similar readership.  But people who commented on my post agreed with me and people who commented on Bonnie's post agreed with her.  'Cause you guys are so nice.

--- 7 ---

And THAT is textbook how to jinx yourself, everyone.  

I wrote that on Tuesday.  Then on Wednesday I received a comment from -- you guessed it -- Anonymous on my highly controversial post in support of butter.  The commenter suggested that I am a total jerk who leaves nasty comments on other people's blogs and probably has Aspergers.  S/he also quoted from a comment I had left on another blog (in which I was being perfectly pleasant, by the way), so I knew it wasn't just a random spammer.  It was someone who actually wanted to stop by my blog and say something cruel to me personally.


I can't believe it.  I won't believe it.
It couldn't be him.

It made me think of Grace's recent post in which she tells of the  reader who sent her an email detailing all the instances on the blog in which Grace's children have gotten into mischief on her watch.  Grace gets called a bad mom.  And of my friend Monica, who got a nasty comment on a guest post she wrote basically calling her a sell-out for offering Catholic themed products for sale on a Catholic website.

Grace is a funny writer and a great mother.  Monica is a talented crafter with products that make the lives of Catholics better.  But that didn't stop either one of them from being bruised by some stranger with a keyboard.

And how do these commenters know exactly how to get you where it hurts?  If I had gotten Grace's or Monica's comment, maybe I could have just said "Eh, s/he's crazy." Because I feel pretty good about my mothering and I have nothing people want to buy, so I couldn't possibly sell out (unlike Monica who has lovely things to sell which everyone should go buy).  But the idea that I would come across as "insulting, critical, holier-than-thou, and arrogant" is terrifying to me. 

It fed my fears that comments that I intended as clever or funny or helpful are being interpreted as all those terrible things above.

To the best of my knowledge, what the commenter said is totally untrue.  (Please let me know if it is true, but maybe privately and with your name attached and without any medical advice.)  But that didn't stop it from messing with me all day.

Who IS this person?  Why would they bother to dislike me so much?  Clearly I'm new to blogging and overthinking this.

It took me a while to delete it, thinking that it was poor sportsmanship to delete comments that disagree with me.  But fortunately I'm Facebook friends with awesome bloggers like Jenny, Julie, Coco, Elizabeth, Monica and (indirectly) Bonnie.  So I got over myself and deleted it, as I would have done immediately for any comment on my blog that disparaged anyone else.  Plus, it was totally off-topic!

Frankly, I'm having a doozy of a time trying to make a good excuse for it.  It's pretty unfathomable to me.  But I shall keep trying.  In the meantime, I am reminding myself that most people have to deal with unpleasant people.  The husband has a job in which that's an almost daily occurance.  I live in a sheltered bubble of nice Catholic moms who are always sweet and almost always agree with each other anyway.

So I'll try to toughen up a bit, comfortable in the knowledge that I can always disable anonymous comments.  I have that power. 

But I will also add him or her to my prayer list along side all the people who don't think I should bring my babies to Mass (here too) and the two little old ladies who pickpocketed me at Fatima.  I have that power too . . . to allow God to turn unpleasantness into grace.


I'm keepin' it real Psalm 40 style:

I waited patiently for the Lord;    
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the desolate pit,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.






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32 comments:

  1. I always admire people who can blog openly, despite the fact that mean comments just always seem to exist. I'm glad you deleted it though. I agree that that was the right choice. This reminded me of a thing I read that was written by The Bloggess on the topic of mean comments (see toward the bottom, number 3):
    http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/116422/lesson_11_bullies

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Meghan (and everyone) for your support.

      Just a warning to those who might click on the link, it's funny and truthful but there is a TON of language.

      Delete
  2. That octopus sticker is AMAZING! I love it.

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  3. Go back to the old adage, "sticks and stones may brake my bones but words will never hurt me"! It helps. I am not sure why people feel they can "talk" to others a certain way when typing--I am not so sure they would be so brave as to do it in person though. Saying prayers for them is certainly the way to go. . .and make excuses for them too! Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just feel bad for anonymous people who get pleasure from leaving nasty comments. What kind of life do they have? Can't be very happy.

    Sherlock is pretty much the best show ever, and we even like Elementary (though I didn't want to like a female Watson). It's not as good as PBS Sherlock, but it's a nice substitute since the Sherlock episodes are few and far between!

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  5. Oh, I love the shoes! I wish my husband was a Sherlock Holmes fan because he has been looking for a show to watch on Netflix while waiting for the new season of Doctor Who to become available.
    I am glad you deleted the anonymous comment. It was untrue and rude. Prayer is definitely the best way to deal with people like that.

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  6. I don't comment often, but I have to today. First, I LOVE that octopus sticker! Second, you ROCK! You have been a wonderful, positive influence on me as a Catholic and as a mom. And I am grateful that you blog and that I found it. So there!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'll never understand the nasty anonymous comments... I've debated opening up anonymous comments on my blog, but I KNOW (even with the like, 10 people who read it) I'd get a random nasty anonymous comment at some point that would just eat away at me and make me think really angry thoughts. The anonymity of the internet really does bring out the worst in some people!

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  8. I love Sherlock...love it! My husband and I totally wish there were more episodes...we're waiting with baited breath for the next season.

    I'm still a relatively new blogger so I haven't gotten any nasty comments yet...yet.

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  9. Don't be bothered by people who comment without leaving a name as they are just like gossipers who talk about you behind your back but are afraid to speak to you face to face. If their views held any weight they would be able to put their name to it.
    Nanacamille

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  10. I stumbled upon your blog last week through the Quick Takes link-up and have already read it in its entirity. I think your blog is great and wouldn't feel compelled to say so if I felt otherwise.

    I have become somewhat obsessed with Benedict Cumberbatch this summer. He was fantastic in Star Trek, which inspired me to start watching Sherlock (it's been in my Instant Queue forever). I agree with you about how well he plays Holmes. I've just started season 2...the show is a gem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I might have to see if I can talk the husband into taking me to see Star Trek. I think all the actors in Sherlock are really amazing at what they do. And I love that Mycroft is one of the writer/creators!

      Delete
  11. I love the Sherlock movies and Elementary. As far as "names will never hurt me," I think they can really do a number on self-esteem and worth. Especially when they come from anonymous sources that have taken the time to stalk your blogs and comments.

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    Replies
    1. I agree, I'm pretty sure that given the choice, I'd rather have someone throw a rock at me (not TOO big, and not at the head, ideally).

      Delete
  12. Wait, I know the excuse! Obviously, some really tough anti-Catholic mobsters kidnapped a totally upstanding citizen and held him at gunpoint. The mobsters demanded he find the BEST Catholic blog he could, one with WITTY and WISE writing and an author BRAVE enough to allow anonymous comments and GRACIOUS enough to always respond to them openly and respectfully. The MOBSTERS are the ones who demanded he post the nasty comments, otherwise they would kill him AND the blogger! So you see, it was a comment to save your life! ;)

    I'm so glad you went for it and bought the octopus decal, it looks fabulous! Emma can't wait to bathe with the giant octopus next visit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah hah! That must be it. Thanks Sissa. :0)

      Delete
  13. As to your controversy, I think you handled it well. God bless!

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  14. Hi Kendra,

    I've been reading your blog for awhile but never commented. Anyway, yesterday I guess your post on FB came up in my newsfeed because you tagged Jenny (sounding like a super creepy stalker here, sorry). So then I had to come back and read the comment and I almost spit water all over the screen laughing because ohmygosh could anything be more Asperger's than telling someone they are odd and therefore need to be tested for Asperger's?

    Sorry they were a jerk to you, but the irony of the whole thing made me laugh out loud!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did find it ironic.

      Then I googled "'Kendra Tierney' comment" and tried to find every comment I had ever made on a blog to make sure they were nice until I realized that THAT was probably doing more to prove the commenter's point than mine. So I stopped and made dinner for my family.

      Delete
  15. One thing that has helped me is to accept not everyone is going to like me and what I have to say or how I say it (just like I don't like everyone and what they have to say and how they say it). (Though I do think name calling and rude commentary in general is over the top.)

    Most of the time (and especially if you don't have a relationship with the person), when someone makes negative comments about anything (blogging, mothering, housekeeping, etc) it's because some struggle is happening within them that has nothing to do with us.

    But I am sorry someone was rude to you. :)

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  16. Thanks for the shout out! We SURE loved having you guys over. I loved to see how excited the kids were about the beekeeping operation. I kept wondering if someday our kids would be as excited about a harvest...

    And I congratulate you on getting a nasty comment. I think it's probably some rite of passage that means you're saying things that are substantial. I often find myself guided by fear of what people will think SO often when I write for the blog. The fear hugely affects my content, and I'm not at all proud of it.

    Sounds like you were a real champ about the whole thing.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I didn't see that movie anyway so I just left a comment on her blog==ran out of time to comment here but that didn't mean I didn't agree with you or her or both... its just a movie anyway, not a big deal--but i did thik the comments were funny on both.

    as far as anonymous--don't give it too much thought. just delete it. I think everyone gets a strange anonymous comment sometimes.

    as far as do readers think you are all the terrible things that you imagine--no. but I do think your writing has a particular style...which I like...its conversational--which I like. I am always second guessing myself when I post something especially comments and wondering if ppl are going to take it the wrong way. when otherwise if we really were having a conversation in person I know they wouldn't because then it would be in context. Get me?

    and now, I am singing 40 by U2.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think Mark Gatiss (Mycroft) has also written Doctor Who episodes. I know he and Stephen Moffat (the current director of Doctor Who) have worked together a lot. I married, all unknowing, into a family of rabid Doctor Who fans. My husband is particularly enthusiastic. I think the temporal problems (hah!) in the episodes available probably have to do with the BBC- they taped over some original episodes and only preserved fragments of others.

    I also love Sherlock. ow could you not love that show?

    It's so, so hard not to take comments about mothering seriously. I just spent a humiliating morning yesterday at the park, being glared at for having children running around doing kid-things like wanting to play with other kids, and having my children dragged back to me to make them stop. I'm going to get a t-shirt made that says, "I'm not neglectful- I just have four kids under six, and I was with the toddlers." Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Kendra,

    I know I am posting anonymous but I did sign my real name.

    I have noticed people seem to have superhuman strength and courage when they sit behind a computer screen in the confines of their private home. They somehow become very bold and mouthy. Uuuuummm hello, we can all be snippy and rude, surprise..... We just choose not to.

    I liken these types of people to cockroaches who run amuck yet scramble for the cracks and crevices when the lights are turned on. So next time someone is vile to you, just imagine a cockroach in fear of the light and ready to run if their identities were to be found out.

    Laura P

    fellow homeschooler from CTK parkday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura,
      You rock! What a great analogy.


      Delete
  20. Nasty comments must mean you're doing something right! I got death threats when I reviewed Twilight...I believe they were from tweens but it still troubled me. Haters gonna hate. I found our discussion thoughtful and scintillating though I may have let my German heritage bleed through too much. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jessica!

      I enjoyed our discussion too. It's funny that you mention German heritage. My Dad's family is German and they have never subscribed to the idea that one shouldn't discuss religion or politics (or movies)!

      Delete
  21. Love the octopus and the shoes! I want both and I'll have to talk to my husband about the possibility.

    One of the things I liked about our disagreement is that it felt like we were having a discussion over dinner or drinks or something. I think it's easy for bloggers to say, "I declare this" and then to take it badly when people disagree (this has been especially true for me) but if I were having the same conversation in person it would be fun and interesting.

    Lastly, I loved your #7. Someone once told me that they met me in person and liked me but then read my blog and realized I lead more people away from Christ than I do to Him because of what I arrogant, caustic, snob I am. That was 2 years ago and it still stings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yikes, I was trying to decide if I'd rather have someone like me in person and hate me in writing or vice versa, but it's an impossible question because WE ARE THE SAME PERSON, blog me and real me. What a nasty thing to say. The other commenters are right, anonymity certainly makes some people um, let's say BOLD.

      I liked the debate too. We'll have to do "Bonnie, Jessica, and Kendra at the Movies" sometime in which we debate how appropriate for devout Catholics are various movies which include nudity, violence, and language. It'll be groundbreaking.

      Delete
  22. Oh my jelly! Isn't Sherlock the coolest? Season 2 had one episode that made me think it was going to go bad. As in, let's start throwing out political correctness into the scenes. But, they regressed and the season ended nicely.

    Now I'm waiting for season 3 on Netflix... Hurry catch up.

    ReplyDelete
  23. For everyone waiting for DR Who--you can download the plug in FoxyProxy for Firefox. It uses a proxy server out of the UK. Once you turn it on, you can watch Dr Who on the BBC's website! It's completely free and legal! That's how my husband and I watched the most recent season. I'm not sure if they have the whole season up or just the most recent episode, but maybe you can use it for the next season! :)

    ReplyDelete

Have an opinion? Leave a comment.

We don't always have to agree, where's the fun in that? But no name calling or speculating about what people "really" think or mean.

Sorry, no more anonymous comments. Too much spam/unpleasantness!

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