Here's interview number one: my husband Jim.
You're often known as "the Husband" on this blog. Would it be accurate to say that that's what most people call you?
What do you do that you can afford to have all these children?
I can't afford all these children. That doesn't mean I'm going to turn them away.
Do you read my blog?
What do you think?
I think it's good.
What is it like to be married to a blogger?
Pretty much the same as being married to a non-blogger. I've been married to both.
There has been speculation in the blogosphere that I am a robot. Can you put those robot rumors to rest?
I can confirm that you are not a robot, but you are possibly non-human.
What makes you say that?
The apparent no need for sleep, night vision, no need to consume water.
You sneeze really loud. Why do you think that is?
I am as God made me. And it's "loudly."
It certainly is. What's your favorite book?
It's possible that my readership is not familiar with that book. What can you tell us about it?
It is Steven Ambrose's account of the Lewis and Clark expedition.
Should moms read it?
How applicable might it be to our daily lives?
It contains extreme courage, persistence in the face of hardships, shooting bears, negotiating with Native Americans, and canoeing upstream.
I do at least one of those things on a daily basis.
Is that a question?
No. What's your favorite movie?
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Would you let your children see it?
Yes. They can see it when they're thirteen.
What made you decide to propose so quickly?
You were the girl who was meant to be my wife. I don't mess around.
What would you say if your son wanted to marry a girl he just met?
I hadn't JUST met you. Like THAT DAY? Like Frozen? I would object. After two months it would be okay.
How many times have you seen Frozen?
Once. That was enough.
I don't know if you've noticed, but the songs from Frozen are quite popular. Which is your favorite?
"Another One Bites the Dust"
I don't remember that one.
I'm pretty sure it was in there.
If you had a blog what would it be about?
It would be about the parallels between military life and the Christian interior life.
What would it be called?
The Breech, in reference to Ezekiel 22:30.
How do you spell Ezekiel?
Is this a real question? Is this going to be in there?
You looked something up on your phone before. Do you have a secret blog that you've never told me about and have trouble remembering the name of?
What were you doing?
I was looking up the Ezekiel quote.
Okay. I'm glad we cleared that up. What's your favorite thing for dinner?
Your caprese pasta and fried chicken.
I haven't made that in a while.
Why haven't you made that in a while?
I'm asking the questions.
Well, I think we're done here. Thank you for your time. My secretary will validate your parking when she wakes up from her nap.